another day in paradise...

I am not as eloquent as my friendly bloggers...but today I am mustering enough energy to relate the day... Worked at the Westlake office today and patients came in at a steady pace and the day went smoothly. Picked Ricky up and went for a marathon shopping trip to Target. I had run so low on staples...TP, paper towels, dish detergent...you know the drill. Made a run to Michaels to get supplies to re-do the flowers for my mom's grave. Dad put out spring flowers last week and they were strewn all over the grass. I gathered them up and bought some new flowers and foam, etc. to get the flowers rearranged. It broke my heart that someone would mess them up. Last year, dad took great time and effort to mount an angel cherub next to her headstone and last week he found that someone had knocked it apart. I have a hard time with such detruction and meanness.
I want something beautiful for Easter. I love you Mom.

For anyone out there who cares...

I went shopping two days ago...(Valerie, I can hear you say there is nothing new about that)...for clothes for myself. That is something because, frankly, I have hated my body for some time. I digress...anyhow, I bought two new pairs of pants THREE SIZES SMALLER!!! Had to brag and pat myself on the back a few times....

I am one PROUD mama

Last night was opening night for the Elyria Catholic production of "South Pacific". Rick and I, Marti, Cindy, Dad, Vera and Mrs. Sprague went to see Ricky's performance...and what a performance it was! I could not have been prouder! After all of the weeks of practice, I did not know that my son sang a few lines SOLO, yet what a good voice he has! The show was three hours long, but the kids did a smash up job with scenery, costumes, choreography and their lines. There was a large audience-of which I am glad...so nice to have a full house to show off your hard labors...I got so many complements on Ricky...made my heart swell with pride. Way to go Ricky! I love you!

The kick in the pants that I needed...

Marti, once again, I want to tell you how much I love you. You sent me an e-mail today that showed me how much I love you. You read me so perfectly and knew just what to say to make me feel better. I have really been down and needed to hear from someone who has been there/done that...to get me back in line knowing that the brass ring at the end of what I am going thru is better health, and a longer life. For that, I am indebted to you...you are the bomb, baby!

Thanks for being there again, Marti...I love you.

Had a depressing weekend....but today is another day.

OK, I am so tired of being sick to my stomach. Since the surgery, I have had about four episodes of vomiting each week...and I am not talking about one bout and you are done...it is all morning, or afternoon...or evening. I don't know what the triggers are...one day it was the Actigal pills that I have to take for the next six months to prevent the formation of gall stones. Another day, it was three TEASPOONS of yogurt, and last night it was rice. I was chastising myself as to...why did I do this to my body?

Today, I sent an e-mail to the nurse practitioner that works with Dr. Schauer, Laura, and I poured out my feelings. She sent me an e-mail right back that lifted me back up. She explained that where my stomach was reattached, the opening is so small due to the inflammation from the surgery that it is hard to pass things into my stomach. She said that this can last anywhere from 4-6 weeks after surgery. She said that some people have more trouble than others with this....I must be one of them. She told me that as long as I was keeping something down every day, and making sure that I was getting my protien in, I am going to get thru this phase.

I have been really whiney lately...so bored eating bland foods. I had a treat this past week...Rick got me a baked yam from Texas Roadhouse. I was only able to eat about 1/2 of it, but it had flavor!!! Tonight, I had a piece of lasagna, which stayed down very well...Ok, it was a 1"x2" piece. BUT, I am not hungry.

I had vowed not to weigh myself every day so that I do not become obsessed about it, but I did weigh myself today and have lost another 4lbs...for a grand total of 49 lbs. to date!

I HATE lying!!! ...even by omission

OK, the easiest way to destroy a relationship is to lie. I was informed this morning that my oldest son, my first born was hiding a secret from me. He was involved in his first auto accident and has not even gotten his license. His father took him to Oberlin to the Army-Navy store to get his uniform for the play next weekend (Elyria Catholic is putting on "South Pacific" and he is playing a sailor). His father's van was blocked in, and Ricky was backing it out so that Rick could get in. He put the van into drive and hit a light post. I guess he got quite a lecture from the police officer (go policeman, go). Lucky for him, he had his learner's permit with him.

I guess what bothers me the most is that I was not told till days later when it was accidentally told to me. I was livid, but nobody else but me sees that it was a bad thing. He thinks that I am going to let him learn to drive in my new car??? He does not have insurance yet!

Am I making mountains out of mole hills???

Why does it get lost in the translation?

Today, I watched one of the finer movies of the 70's "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"...yes, starring one of my all-time favorites, the BeeGees. Ricky just did not get it. He thought that this was a movie made on drugs. Didn't get the whole fantasy thing. Did not appreciate the music. Did not appreciate all of the big name stars in the movie...George Burns, Steve Martin, Peter Frampton, Billy Preston, Alice Cooper, Earth Wind and Fire, and Aerosmith. What is the world coming to when the youth of today do not understand the abstract-ness of this genre?

"Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields, nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about, Strawberry Fields forever."

What to do...what to do...

What is there to do on a Saturday with fresh snow on the ground??? The hubby and youngest son are going to a pizza party for CYO basketball....
I think that I may take in a movie...could stay at home and clean the house....nah....more fun to get out of here for a while.

Where else but Ohio would you have an earthquake, tornado, thunderstorm with lightning, rain, snow, 70-degree and 20-degree temperatures in less than 48 hours???

The storm prince and princess have been watching the skies tonight....

Keeping an eye to the skies...Nick and I are keeping an eye out because we have tornado warnings and they are close. Rt. 57 and I-90...Ricky called from play practice and said that they took the students to the school basement.

I have a long time fear of storms. I get it from my mom- who I found later got it from her mother. When we were young and there was a storm, my mom would take us to the basement and pull out the couch and have us sit behind it. My grandma had a clear plastic bag for storms that had the deed to her house, her will, and her bank book. She would take that with her to the basement. In later years, I would take the kids to the basement and lay out a blanket for games and we would play with flashlights.

Now, as an adult, I can NEVER sleep when there is a storm. I feel my heart beat faster.

St. Peter is playing bowling, there he goes...another strike.

I am praying that this passes quickly so that we can get some sleep tonight.

I got a new car!!!

I got rid of the Lexus and got a Mazda CX-7. We have been examining the cost of a 15 1/2 year old drive a lexus and cover the insurance....astronomical.

I love the ride. BOSE stereo. Yummy.

Felt good to go back to work today. Slow day tomorrow...good thing, I have some pain in my stomach...think I may be overdoing it. Not enough pain to call the doctor, but enough to know that I need to slow down. I made a concoction of unflavored yogurt, peaches, and vanilla protien powder. Not bad and got about all of my protien in one meal. Had some DELICIOUS potatoes and gravy from KFC...went down smooth.

A depressed day...

Today was such a depressing day. The kids were especially mouthy and I just could not take it anymore. Even with the weather SO beautiful. I went for a ride and found myself at the cemetery at my mother's grave. I haven't been to the cemetery in a while-it is hard for me to go there. I miss her so much. So much has happened in my life recently an I feel like I want and need her by my side. When I lost my job last year, I really wanted and needed her. She has always been there when I have had a crisis in my life and I think that this is the first crisis I have endured without her.
So, back to today. I went to the cemetery and cried and talked to my mom about how hard this diet is, and did I do the right thing....I did not get any answers, but I felt like that was where I needed to be. When I came home, the peace in the house was restored.
I guess mom was helping me again.
I love you mom.

Where have I been?

Haven't blogged in a few days, and want to catch you up on what is going on...
Had the drain removed, Tuesday. (Thank God) and the nurse told me that I could advance my diet. So, what does the food deprived person do? Rick and I went to the Mc Donalds in the Cleveland Clinic, ordered an egg mcmuffin, and I ate the egg, Rick ate the rest. The best egg I have ever eaten. I have since eaten a 1"x 2" piece of lasagna, two chicken strips, and an orange push-up. I tried to eat a hamburger last night and spent the night throwing up. I can only eat a 1/2 cup of food for a meal. That is the capacity of my stomach.
How am I as far as pain/activity? I have NO pain. I am going back to work on Monday (yipee). I walked 1 mile yesterday at Midway Mall with all of those blue haired folk. If you have not witnessed them in action, it really is quite impressive. Have already informed Ricky that he is at my mercy tomorrow when I go walking. I am so grateful for my sister in spirit, Yolanda. I think she is telepathic. She knows when I am getting the blues and gives me that much needed call to keep me in line and to get my spirits back on track. She has been my inspiration. Her best advice to me was to give it to God to handle. I love you Yo-Yo.

I pray that the drain comes out tomorrow...

Have had a longing for baked fish. Am a little tired of soup and liquids at this point. I want something with some texture. Can tell it is lent because most of the food commercials are fish related. Just had a Long John Silver commercial to prove it.
As for the drain, it continues to drain about 25cc today. Am afraid that they will not take it out because it is still draining. Planning on going to work Mon.,but wonder if they won't let me if I have a drain. Am getting bored, think I will scrapbook tomorrow after the doctor appt.

my food...

OK, this morning, I had a shake...1 can of chocolate slim fast, 1 scoop of vanilla protien powder, 1 tsp. vanilla extract, and ice cubes. Mix to milk shake consistency, top with dash of cinnamon. Not bad...killed the baby puke taste.
Lunch, again I had the cream of potato soup, pureed and strained. 1/2 cup. YUM-O.
I am having cream of mushroom soup for supper. Can't wait.

Am still having pain from the drain, but am getting around the house, better than I expected.

After the last supper, comes the first meal...

Had my first meal last night. Rick got me some cream of potato soup and put it in the blender and strained it, and I got to have 1/2 cup (to drink over 1 hour). It was the best food I had ever tasted. Has kinda put everything in its place not being able to eat and having slim fast/clear liquids for over two weeks.
I paid for it though, I thought I had heartburn, but it was gas pains all night. The only relief I had was sitting up straight. Much better this morning. Am going to venture and have a peach/protien powder shake for breakfast. Hard to type, my hands are still swollen (thanks Nurse Ratchet). I was disappointed in the night shift nurse that I had, Nurse Ratchet AKA Lennie. She got me up the first night after surgery at 5 am (had gotten back to my room at 8pm) and put me in a chair. My room was the refrigerator, and she put the PCA controller on top of the IV pole, so I could not give myself pain medication. I called for help 5 times and was always told that the unknown voice behind the microphone would let the nurse know. No help arrived until day shift, and by that time, I was sobbing. Why didn't I get up myself? Because it was my first time out of bed and I was one hurting puppy. At the same time that the day nurse came in, a transporter for the xray dept. came to get me for my barium swallow (gag me). She told them that I needed at least 3 hours of rest before I would be ready to go to xray. Wonderful nurse, Arlene. Anyhow, I was cursed with Nurse Ratchet the second night as well, and when I called her to let her know that my IV had infiltrated, she said, "no, the pump would alarm if it was no

in the right space". Milo, my day shift nurse took the IVout the minute I showed it to him. My fingers are like sausages, and my palms a little ball. Cannot close a fist. UGH. Will try to remember to post later on and let you know how the peach shake goes.

P.S. note to Mr. Trent Blackburn, get better soon, buddy. We hate it when you are sick.

Well, it is over, and I have lived to tell about it...

I had my roux-en-y bypass Wednesday2/28 and was discharged yesterday. I still have a drain in the stomach which will come out Tuesday. I am going to try to have some soup tonight. I am not having a lot of pain, nor am I hungry. I had a barium swallow the morning after surgery which was heinous but I lived through it. My hands are all puffed from my IV's infiltrating. I have six very small incisions across my lower abdomen. I was having a lot of abdominal pain until I started passing the blessed gas...what heaven...(never thought I would hear myself describe gas in those terms) but, honestly, I thought I had an abdominal hernia until I passed some gas and the bloated area of my stomach went down.
I must regress, the night before I had surgery, we got the new Cleveland Magazine, and Dr.Schauer, my surgeon, was listed as one of the top doctors in the state (voted on by MD's). With the versed in my IV, I asked him before I was put to sleep if he had received his copy yet, he said that he had not. I told him that I slept better the previous night, knowing he was one of the top doctors. I also asked him if he had eaten lunch, and if he got his practice cases in that morning. Nothing like a tongue loosened by versed.