More P's please...

I forgot to mention my favorite "P"...Paige Elizabeth. I love this girl. Not only is she BEAUTIFUL...she is fun, smart and talented. She is such a loving girl. I am so blessed to have her as my niece, goddaughter, and hopefully my friend. I love you Paige.

Minding my P's and Q's

The letter "P'...
I do love my own name, does that sound weird? I never wanted to change my name when I grew up. Pam.
Purses...I could never be Imelda Marcos because of the size of my feet, so I do have a love for purses...I even name some of them...Dotty, Betty, Rosie, old Blue...
Perfume....my husband is VERY picky as to which perfumes I wear. He and his father get nauseated to the point of sickness from colognes. I can only wear spicy scents, nothing floral. He picks out what I wear.

The letter "Q"
Quicken Loans Arena...aka "the Q". Got to love the spirit of the place. We have made so many friends there. Leroy is my favorite. He is such a sweetheart...
Quiet time...yes, I talk alot, but I like time to myself. I like to sit and read and to recharge my batteries. I may not have peace and quiet, could have the radio, or TV on, but I love "me" time.

as to the more pressing items of the day...please send up a prayer for my friend, Trish's mother, Carol. She has suffered a heart attack and has been fighting a battle with cancer. She has been winning the cancer battle only to have this befall her. She has so many things to live a long life for... the three beautiful children of Trish and Chris come to mind....
Give her some prayers for healing and prayers of comfort for her family. Our love to you all.

I am indigo...

Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too.Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

N and O and I don't mean...NO

OK, it was a hellish day at work and I am bushed. Almost thirty patients for procedures. Whew! Not to mention that I stayed up late to watch "The Next Iron Chef" ...Yipee for Michael Symon! I actually went to his restaurant, Lola's, before he became one of the "beautiful people". It was so exciting to watch a Clevelander get National/international recognition. And then I heard that all of the other Iron Chefs came to his restaurant last night for supper to celebrate.

The letter "N"

I am actually a decent needlepointer (is that a word?). I took lessons years ago and really find it relaxing. Haven't done it lately, but winter is now here....

Nightgowns...I am not the fondest of flannel, I love LOOSE necked, and loose armed gowns with a wide bottom (not mine, the gown's)made of a soft knit. I cannot feel strangled when I sleep.

Nick...my baby. I love this kid. He loves to come in and cuddle, even at age 13. He loves to lay on my shoulder. He has a tender heart and a killer smile.


The letter "O"
O-H-I-O...(just for you Trent, I spelled it that way). I am born and bred Ohioan. I love the scarlet and grey and make the hand motions to spell out Ohio whenever I hear "Hang on Sloopy" (which should be the state song)

Orange...now wild about this color. Makes me look jaundiced.

L and M...

The letter "L"
Love. Enough said.

Letters...nobody writes letters anymore. It is becoming a lost art. I got a quick note from one of the teachers at Elyria Catholic whom I have become close to this week. Her daughter was having a bad time in public school and was enrolled in St. Judes...Nick's grade. I talked to her at great length about it because she is a widow and doesn't have anyone to bounce things off of. I feel bad that she has to make these decisions by herself. She is so kind...anyhow, the note was so sweet. I miss getting the good old hand written note.

Leisure time. Not enough, not frequent enough. I know...I have teenagers and they are go-go-go with activities. I miss spending a quiet weekend as a family.

The letter "M"
The deviant male gene. Why can't they lift a toilet seat? Why must the first thing they pick up be the remote control and change the channel that I had been watching a movie on for over an hour.

MOM...I miss her. With her birthday last week, I have spent a lot of time thinking about her. It is funny...when I drive by the cemetery, I always say hi to her. My boys tell me that my sister, Valerie does that same thing. She always made a big production of Thanksgiving dinner. She would often invite someone who was having problems or was alone to dinner. You would never know who would show up. She had such a good heart...I see that in all three of us daughters of hers. I want to make a cookbook this year with all of my mom's "special" recipes.
I have yet to stuff a Turkey, and frankly I am ashamed that I haven't accomplished that. I wish I was the cook that my mom was. She was also a clean freak. I remember the one and only time that I truly argued with my mom...she came over and criticized me for having a dirty refrigerator grate. Yes, she was meticulous. She was great with crafts...she crocheted scrubbing pads from netting, made the large majority of our Barbie doll clothes...and our Barbies had trunks of clothes. I hope I make you proud mom.

Marti Mihalko is my other best friend. I love her dearly. I give Marti so much credit, she raised a wonderful son all alone without help from a husband. She is a survivor. She is always there when I am down and is so much fun to be around. She is well read...she reads so many different types of books and I tend to pidgeon hole myself into certain kinds of books. She is so close with her family and I love and admire that. Marti and I are both nurses, so we can talk work trash with each other. Love you, girlfriend. She is the Laverne to my Shirley, the Thelma to my Louise.

Busy weekend with kiddos having projects due this week that involved videotaping of productions. Nick did a newscast from the ancient greek Olympics and Ricky was doing a religon project. Kids all over the house. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight...was up three times last night. I hate when that happens.

Random acts of Kindness...J and K

OK...just when you are having one of the worst periods in your life, people reach out and pull you back to earth. Today, my sister's sister in law, Karen, called me out of the blue. She had heard that Rick had been really ill and in the hospital and that I was having a tough time. She brought us two prepared meals. I sat in my room and cried. I have been so overwhelmed and this coming week does not look like it is going to get any better. It was just such a kind suprise. I don't know if there would be anyway to let her know just how much that meant to me. I try to be that kind of friend, and hope that I have made such an impact on others like that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Karen.
My peeps called me today too. Both of them called me, one after the other. I was going to back out on a class today and they got me moving and getting ready for the class. I did feel guilty going because Rick was stuck with Kids having projects that needed to be completed this weekend-one being a teenager with an attitude...but I have put up with that same attitude for the two weeks that he was so sick. I needed that break more than I knew. I got the album put together, but I need to go over to my dad's house to dig for pictures. I am doing the album about him, I think. I started a book about mom and am having too many emotional problems right now to work on it. I miss her so much ...she would have gotten me to go for help. It's not that I am against counseling, but I have been three times and have never gotten any advice that I didn't already know....I think I need an ECT (electoconvulsive therapy...also known as shock treatment)...kill a few brain cells and make yourself forget about what is bothering you.

The letter "J"
I love a good Joke.

I love stawberry Jam. Bonne Maman is my favorite brand. Some warm toast with a little butter and a thick layer of Jam. Yummm....

Jeans...who doesn't love them? I can now wear ones with a real waist band instead of an elastic waistband.

The letter "K"

I am so fortunate to have two best friends. One of them is my friend, Karen Fernkorn. I love her. She always makes me laugh. I want to be like her....so well put together, such business saavy, and she is beautiful inside and out. She has a sweet hubby and two beautiful boys. I love her creativity. I just plain love the girl.

Kaszar...my last name. Glad that I married that man of mine. He is my best friend and my love. We really do complement each other so well. I am so lucky to have had him for these past 23 years....I am blessed by this.

H, I and a bit of an update

The letter "H"

I obsess about my greying Hairs. I feel so young, yet my body defies me whenever it can and these obnixous grey hairs sprout out wherever and whenever they want. The grey eyebrow hair is the one that makes me the craziest. Have to pluck that puppy out whenever I see it. My grandmother used to say, "I don't understand why all of my granddaughters have to color their hair"...well, grandma, we did not get the genes that allow us to have brown hair until we are in our 90's like you did. Must be a Bursley trait.

Health...you never really appreciate it until you do not have it...physical or mental. I have been challenged by a son who was having congestive heart failure at age three from Thalassemia, a husband who is a paraplegic, my beloved mother's battle with Alzheimers disease and this past few weeks, I have been battling my own demons with depression. Nobody really knows how you feel inside when you feel that everything is hopeless and doomed. I feel like I have failed my family and myself. I feel like I am not a good friend. I tend to avoid being with my friends so that I do not have to make believe that all is well. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to a crop and I have been looking for reasons to stay at home. I want to just be alone. I have had my meds changed twice this week and the first one TOTALLY TOOK AWAY ANY SEMBLANCE OF AN APPETITE THAT I HAD. (wellbutrin for those who are looking to diet). I am now on Buspar and the only good thing that I have noticed so far is that I have not had a headache for four days and my neck and shoulder pain is gone. I still feel very alone and weepy.

Home...please buy mine...I need something that is easier to manage....

The letter "I"

Iced tea (with lemon)...My favorite drink. Nothing else quenches my thirst. No sugar or fruit flavoring. Just plain old tea. Gotta love it.

Indiana-Valparaiso...I spent three years of my life going to college here.. in the midst of a corn field...JC Penny closed at 5pm...the town's claim to fame was that Orville Redenbacher was born there. They do have his testing fields there and we could go to the factory and get bags (and I mean 39 gallon bags) of popcorn for free.

OK...I it has been a lousy few weeks in the Kaszar household. Rick was in the hospital for a bowel obstruction at the Cleveland Clinic. He came home with a nice bedsore. He has to follow a "GI soft diet" for the rest of his life. The doctor in no uncertain terms told him that if he comes in again with this it is straight to the OR, no questions asked. They were able to decompress his belly with an NG tube and no food or drinking for over a week. It was so hard to manage kids, dog, work, school...thanks to Dad and Val for helping with getting the kids from school for me.

The house is a mess too which is not making it any easier on me. Ricky has two dress rehearsals left and then three performances for the fall production. They are doing four one act plays. Ricky is directing one and starring in another. Junior ring ceremony is also this week. Sunday morning the Academic Challenge team is taping the meet at WEWS-tv (channel 5) and I need to be there since I am the "team mom". No down time for me.

Copying from Val..

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)-Beau RX-7
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)-Chocolate Decadence Chocolate Chocolate Chip
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) -PKAS
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)-Black Dog
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)-Susan Elyria
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Kaspa
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)-The Teal Iced Tea with Lemon
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)-William Emil (EEEWW - Who would want that name?)
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)-Emporio Peppermint Pattie
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )-Lou Emil
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)-Glover Grafton
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)-Christmas SunflowerRose
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)-Strawberry pajamas
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)-toastdogwood
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)-The Scrapbooking Heat Wave

Thanks for the idea, Val. That was a funny one!

F and G and a little more

The letter "F"
Family has always been so important to me. I love the fact that I am close with my family and that we do not argue. We have always had each other to lean on and to support each other (AKA Kick in the pants when needed) Our parents did a good job of instilling this into us and I hope and pray that our children have learned this as well.
Fat....No more. (yipee)

The letter "G"
Grammy...we all miss her. She had a special place with each of the children...grandma Cookie, we miss you so much. We love you.
Green...the color invokes so many memories...fresh cut grass, St. Patrick's Day, summer....
Grover...my favorite muppet. He is funny, naieve, and talks too much.

One of my peeps found a lump under her arm. I am keeping her anonymous because it is not my news to tell. All I ask is that you pray for someone who you do not know the identity of. She is going thru so much right now and can use all the prayers we can muster. I feel like, "there for the grace of God go I..." I love her dearly, and hope she knows it. I am praying for you peep of mine. Remember that we are going to have one hell of a celebration when the tests come back NEGATIVE. XOXO

D and E...

The letter "D"
Daddy...whether it be my dad, or the father of my children, I have two wonderful men in my life who are so loving and caring.
Dancing with the Stars...one of the best TV shows ever. I wish I could do moves like they do! The clothes, the grace....how beautiful.
Dinner...I love that we can all sit down together for a meal. Basketball season now begins and I won't have the family together. :(,,,

The letter "E"
I am from Elyria, Ohio...born and bred.
I am a staunch Republican...represented by the elephant. Yes, I like that they are conservative and that they do not believe in giving money to everyone. I do believe in work-fare, not welfare. I don't believe in getting something for nothing.

The letter C

The letter "C"
Ok, first has to be my roommate for almost 23 years of my life...My sister Cindy. Totally naieve and likes to watch old reruns on Nick at Night. She laughs like she is seeing them for the very first time. We shared bedrooms growing up...same bedroom that she still sleeps in. I feel very overprotective of her. Love her to bits.

Chocolate, the brown food group. Needs to be at the bottom of the food pyramid. Makes any day better. Needs to be dark chocolate...for those endorphins and the anti0xidant properites.

Crying, I do too much of this lately. Can't help it and do not feel better or worse for it.

The Alphabet of Me

My sister had such a good idea running on her blog, so I have decided to copy it. She took each letter of the alphabet and wrote a little about herself pertaining to each letter....

The letter "A"
Autumn...the only things that I enjoy about the season are the color of the leaves, and Halloween. I do not like cold weather AT ALL. This season is just an indicator of the flakes falling from the sky soon. Oh, I forgot, one other thing that I love about Autumn...the clocks get turned back...one extra unadulterated hour of sleep!!!

Anti-depressants. I don't know what my life would be like without them. I have been on them for over 13 years now. It seems to be the only way that I can sleep at night and cope with my life.

Aunt Ann...AKA...Arvilla. My mother's sister-was married to my father's brother. She was an aggressive person,but if she loved you, she did it with a whole heart. I learned this the day that Rick was taken in for emergency surgery on his colon. She went with me to the hospital and sat with me...she never let me get down. She kept reminding me that Rick and the boys would need me to be strong. She will always be in my heart for staying with me.

The letter "B"
My mother, Betty Bursley, also known as "Burs"., Aunt Bee,. Betts. This coming Monday would have been her birthday. I talk to her everyday when I come home from work and drive by the cemetery. I always say, "Hi, mom." Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. I miss her dearly.

Boozer, the four legged demon that hogs the bed I try to sleep in. Don't get me wrong, he is one of my best friends. He cuddles right up to me when I am upset for some loving. He knows that I need his unconditional love and some distraction.

OK...until tomorrow for more letters...

One last note...RICK IS HOME! I cannot tell you how happy I am to have him back home. He has been hospitalized with a bowel obstruction. The man has 9 lives! He fell into the shaft of the elevator in our house last month and now this! He gives me more grey hairs than the kids do! I love him so dearly and it kills me to have him so sick. It kills me to let others take care of him too, especially since the malpractice when he had his spinal cord injury. I do not trust them to take care of him. He has a bed sore from being in the hospital that I need to tend to now.

Till tomorrow...