R, S, T...all that is missing is some E...

R....Rick, of course! I have married my best friend and the love of my life. I do think that we need a weekend away, just the two of us. No KIDS! We need some re-connection. I would even settle for someone taking the kids for the weekend and letting us stay home alone. He is my best friend. I am glad that he picked me.
Ricky....he is alot like me in attitude, but he hates to hear me say it, he looks just like his dad. No denying that kid. He is overly sensitive, loves to hear gossip, is creative, and loves to read. The only fault that I can find is that he loves garbage reality TV shows...New York and Tia Tequila. I hate that garbage.
Rest...Cannot get enough of that. Lately, I am so tired that I feel I cannot wait to go to bed. I think that I am getting too much stress in my life that I cannot escape even in my sleep. I barely sleep anymore.

S...sisters-cannot say enough about mine. I love them dearly. I can say that I feel that my sisters are always there for me and accept me for who and what I am ( a pain in the neck).
We have been through a lot together in losing our mother, and I think she would be proud of how we have grown together and have matured as women and remained friends and sisters. I love you both, Cindy and Val.
Scrapbooking....a mental outlet for me. It has gained me many dear friends and has given me an outlet for my creative juices. I prayed that it would be my vocation, but that was not to be. It broke my heart to sell the store. My true friends have stayed there beside me and stayed supportive of me.

T....Iced tea of course! My all time favorite drink.
Trust...always an issue with me. I tell my kids if I cannot trust you on the little things, how can I trust you when it is something big? I hate lying.

I am no where near ready for Christmas and do not know how I am ever going to pull this off. I lose sleep over this too, I know, I am a worrier.

Thanks for listening to my rantings. Love you...

More P's please...

I forgot to mention my favorite "P"...Paige Elizabeth. I love this girl. Not only is she BEAUTIFUL...she is fun, smart and talented. She is such a loving girl. I am so blessed to have her as my niece, goddaughter, and hopefully my friend. I love you Paige.

Minding my P's and Q's

The letter "P'...
I do love my own name, does that sound weird? I never wanted to change my name when I grew up. Pam.
Purses...I could never be Imelda Marcos because of the size of my feet, so I do have a love for purses...I even name some of them...Dotty, Betty, Rosie, old Blue...
Perfume....my husband is VERY picky as to which perfumes I wear. He and his father get nauseated to the point of sickness from colognes. I can only wear spicy scents, nothing floral. He picks out what I wear.

The letter "Q"
Quicken Loans Arena...aka "the Q". Got to love the spirit of the place. We have made so many friends there. Leroy is my favorite. He is such a sweetheart...
Quiet time...yes, I talk alot, but I like time to myself. I like to sit and read and to recharge my batteries. I may not have peace and quiet, could have the radio, or TV on, but I love "me" time.

as to the more pressing items of the day...please send up a prayer for my friend, Trish's mother, Carol. She has suffered a heart attack and has been fighting a battle with cancer. She has been winning the cancer battle only to have this befall her. She has so many things to live a long life for... the three beautiful children of Trish and Chris come to mind....
Give her some prayers for healing and prayers of comfort for her family. Our love to you all.

I am indigo...

Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too.Your saturation level is very high - you are all about getting things done. The world may think you work too hard but you have a lot to show for it, and it keeps you going. You shouldn't be afraid to lead people, because if you're doing it, it'll be done right.Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

N and O and I don't mean...NO

OK, it was a hellish day at work and I am bushed. Almost thirty patients for procedures. Whew! Not to mention that I stayed up late to watch "The Next Iron Chef" ...Yipee for Michael Symon! I actually went to his restaurant, Lola's, before he became one of the "beautiful people". It was so exciting to watch a Clevelander get National/international recognition. And then I heard that all of the other Iron Chefs came to his restaurant last night for supper to celebrate.

The letter "N"

I am actually a decent needlepointer (is that a word?). I took lessons years ago and really find it relaxing. Haven't done it lately, but winter is now here....

Nightgowns...I am not the fondest of flannel, I love LOOSE necked, and loose armed gowns with a wide bottom (not mine, the gown's)made of a soft knit. I cannot feel strangled when I sleep.

Nick...my baby. I love this kid. He loves to come in and cuddle, even at age 13. He loves to lay on my shoulder. He has a tender heart and a killer smile.


The letter "O"
O-H-I-O...(just for you Trent, I spelled it that way). I am born and bred Ohioan. I love the scarlet and grey and make the hand motions to spell out Ohio whenever I hear "Hang on Sloopy" (which should be the state song)

Orange...now wild about this color. Makes me look jaundiced.

L and M...

The letter "L"
Love. Enough said.

Letters...nobody writes letters anymore. It is becoming a lost art. I got a quick note from one of the teachers at Elyria Catholic whom I have become close to this week. Her daughter was having a bad time in public school and was enrolled in St. Judes...Nick's grade. I talked to her at great length about it because she is a widow and doesn't have anyone to bounce things off of. I feel bad that she has to make these decisions by herself. She is so kind...anyhow, the note was so sweet. I miss getting the good old hand written note.

Leisure time. Not enough, not frequent enough. I know...I have teenagers and they are go-go-go with activities. I miss spending a quiet weekend as a family.

The letter "M"
The deviant male gene. Why can't they lift a toilet seat? Why must the first thing they pick up be the remote control and change the channel that I had been watching a movie on for over an hour.

MOM...I miss her. With her birthday last week, I have spent a lot of time thinking about her. It is funny...when I drive by the cemetery, I always say hi to her. My boys tell me that my sister, Valerie does that same thing. She always made a big production of Thanksgiving dinner. She would often invite someone who was having problems or was alone to dinner. You would never know who would show up. She had such a good heart...I see that in all three of us daughters of hers. I want to make a cookbook this year with all of my mom's "special" recipes.
I have yet to stuff a Turkey, and frankly I am ashamed that I haven't accomplished that. I wish I was the cook that my mom was. She was also a clean freak. I remember the one and only time that I truly argued with my mom...she came over and criticized me for having a dirty refrigerator grate. Yes, she was meticulous. She was great with crafts...she crocheted scrubbing pads from netting, made the large majority of our Barbie doll clothes...and our Barbies had trunks of clothes. I hope I make you proud mom.

Marti Mihalko is my other best friend. I love her dearly. I give Marti so much credit, she raised a wonderful son all alone without help from a husband. She is a survivor. She is always there when I am down and is so much fun to be around. She is well read...she reads so many different types of books and I tend to pidgeon hole myself into certain kinds of books. She is so close with her family and I love and admire that. Marti and I are both nurses, so we can talk work trash with each other. Love you, girlfriend. She is the Laverne to my Shirley, the Thelma to my Louise.

Busy weekend with kiddos having projects due this week that involved videotaping of productions. Nick did a newscast from the ancient greek Olympics and Ricky was doing a religon project. Kids all over the house. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight...was up three times last night. I hate when that happens.

Random acts of Kindness...J and K

OK...just when you are having one of the worst periods in your life, people reach out and pull you back to earth. Today, my sister's sister in law, Karen, called me out of the blue. She had heard that Rick had been really ill and in the hospital and that I was having a tough time. She brought us two prepared meals. I sat in my room and cried. I have been so overwhelmed and this coming week does not look like it is going to get any better. It was just such a kind suprise. I don't know if there would be anyway to let her know just how much that meant to me. I try to be that kind of friend, and hope that I have made such an impact on others like that. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Karen.
My peeps called me today too. Both of them called me, one after the other. I was going to back out on a class today and they got me moving and getting ready for the class. I did feel guilty going because Rick was stuck with Kids having projects that needed to be completed this weekend-one being a teenager with an attitude...but I have put up with that same attitude for the two weeks that he was so sick. I needed that break more than I knew. I got the album put together, but I need to go over to my dad's house to dig for pictures. I am doing the album about him, I think. I started a book about mom and am having too many emotional problems right now to work on it. I miss her so much ...she would have gotten me to go for help. It's not that I am against counseling, but I have been three times and have never gotten any advice that I didn't already know....I think I need an ECT (electoconvulsive therapy...also known as shock treatment)...kill a few brain cells and make yourself forget about what is bothering you.

The letter "J"
I love a good Joke.

I love stawberry Jam. Bonne Maman is my favorite brand. Some warm toast with a little butter and a thick layer of Jam. Yummm....

Jeans...who doesn't love them? I can now wear ones with a real waist band instead of an elastic waistband.

The letter "K"

I am so fortunate to have two best friends. One of them is my friend, Karen Fernkorn. I love her. She always makes me laugh. I want to be like her....so well put together, such business saavy, and she is beautiful inside and out. She has a sweet hubby and two beautiful boys. I love her creativity. I just plain love the girl.

Kaszar...my last name. Glad that I married that man of mine. He is my best friend and my love. We really do complement each other so well. I am so lucky to have had him for these past 23 years....I am blessed by this.

H, I and a bit of an update

The letter "H"

I obsess about my greying Hairs. I feel so young, yet my body defies me whenever it can and these obnixous grey hairs sprout out wherever and whenever they want. The grey eyebrow hair is the one that makes me the craziest. Have to pluck that puppy out whenever I see it. My grandmother used to say, "I don't understand why all of my granddaughters have to color their hair"...well, grandma, we did not get the genes that allow us to have brown hair until we are in our 90's like you did. Must be a Bursley trait.

Health...you never really appreciate it until you do not have it...physical or mental. I have been challenged by a son who was having congestive heart failure at age three from Thalassemia, a husband who is a paraplegic, my beloved mother's battle with Alzheimers disease and this past few weeks, I have been battling my own demons with depression. Nobody really knows how you feel inside when you feel that everything is hopeless and doomed. I feel like I have failed my family and myself. I feel like I am not a good friend. I tend to avoid being with my friends so that I do not have to make believe that all is well. Tomorrow I am supposed to go to a crop and I have been looking for reasons to stay at home. I want to just be alone. I have had my meds changed twice this week and the first one TOTALLY TOOK AWAY ANY SEMBLANCE OF AN APPETITE THAT I HAD. (wellbutrin for those who are looking to diet). I am now on Buspar and the only good thing that I have noticed so far is that I have not had a headache for four days and my neck and shoulder pain is gone. I still feel very alone and weepy.

Home...please buy mine...I need something that is easier to manage....

The letter "I"

Iced tea (with lemon)...My favorite drink. Nothing else quenches my thirst. No sugar or fruit flavoring. Just plain old tea. Gotta love it.

Indiana-Valparaiso...I spent three years of my life going to college here.. in the midst of a corn field...JC Penny closed at 5pm...the town's claim to fame was that Orville Redenbacher was born there. They do have his testing fields there and we could go to the factory and get bags (and I mean 39 gallon bags) of popcorn for free.

OK...I it has been a lousy few weeks in the Kaszar household. Rick was in the hospital for a bowel obstruction at the Cleveland Clinic. He came home with a nice bedsore. He has to follow a "GI soft diet" for the rest of his life. The doctor in no uncertain terms told him that if he comes in again with this it is straight to the OR, no questions asked. They were able to decompress his belly with an NG tube and no food or drinking for over a week. It was so hard to manage kids, dog, work, school...thanks to Dad and Val for helping with getting the kids from school for me.

The house is a mess too which is not making it any easier on me. Ricky has two dress rehearsals left and then three performances for the fall production. They are doing four one act plays. Ricky is directing one and starring in another. Junior ring ceremony is also this week. Sunday morning the Academic Challenge team is taping the meet at WEWS-tv (channel 5) and I need to be there since I am the "team mom". No down time for me.

Copying from Val..

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)-Beau RX-7
2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)-Chocolate Decadence Chocolate Chocolate Chip
3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name) -PKAS
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)-Black Dog
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)-Susan Elyria
6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Kaspa
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)-The Teal Iced Tea with Lemon
8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)-William Emil (EEEWW - Who would want that name?)
9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)-Emporio Peppermint Pattie
10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names )-Lou Emil
11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)-Glover Grafton
12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower)-Christmas SunflowerRose
13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)-Strawberry pajamas
14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)-toastdogwood
15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”)-The Scrapbooking Heat Wave

Thanks for the idea, Val. That was a funny one!

F and G and a little more

The letter "F"
Family has always been so important to me. I love the fact that I am close with my family and that we do not argue. We have always had each other to lean on and to support each other (AKA Kick in the pants when needed) Our parents did a good job of instilling this into us and I hope and pray that our children have learned this as well.
Fat....No more. (yipee)

The letter "G"
Grammy...we all miss her. She had a special place with each of the children...grandma Cookie, we miss you so much. We love you.
Green...the color invokes so many memories...fresh cut grass, St. Patrick's Day, summer....
Grover...my favorite muppet. He is funny, naieve, and talks too much.

One of my peeps found a lump under her arm. I am keeping her anonymous because it is not my news to tell. All I ask is that you pray for someone who you do not know the identity of. She is going thru so much right now and can use all the prayers we can muster. I feel like, "there for the grace of God go I..." I love her dearly, and hope she knows it. I am praying for you peep of mine. Remember that we are going to have one hell of a celebration when the tests come back NEGATIVE. XOXO

D and E...

The letter "D"
Daddy...whether it be my dad, or the father of my children, I have two wonderful men in my life who are so loving and caring.
Dancing with the Stars...one of the best TV shows ever. I wish I could do moves like they do! The clothes, the grace....how beautiful.
Dinner...I love that we can all sit down together for a meal. Basketball season now begins and I won't have the family together. :(,,,

The letter "E"
I am from Elyria, Ohio...born and bred.
I am a staunch Republican...represented by the elephant. Yes, I like that they are conservative and that they do not believe in giving money to everyone. I do believe in work-fare, not welfare. I don't believe in getting something for nothing.

The letter C

The letter "C"
Ok, first has to be my roommate for almost 23 years of my life...My sister Cindy. Totally naieve and likes to watch old reruns on Nick at Night. She laughs like she is seeing them for the very first time. We shared bedrooms growing up...same bedroom that she still sleeps in. I feel very overprotective of her. Love her to bits.

Chocolate, the brown food group. Needs to be at the bottom of the food pyramid. Makes any day better. Needs to be dark chocolate...for those endorphins and the anti0xidant properites.

Crying, I do too much of this lately. Can't help it and do not feel better or worse for it.

The Alphabet of Me

My sister had such a good idea running on her blog, so I have decided to copy it. She took each letter of the alphabet and wrote a little about herself pertaining to each letter....

The letter "A"
Autumn...the only things that I enjoy about the season are the color of the leaves, and Halloween. I do not like cold weather AT ALL. This season is just an indicator of the flakes falling from the sky soon. Oh, I forgot, one other thing that I love about Autumn...the clocks get turned back...one extra unadulterated hour of sleep!!!

Anti-depressants. I don't know what my life would be like without them. I have been on them for over 13 years now. It seems to be the only way that I can sleep at night and cope with my life.

Aunt Ann...AKA...Arvilla. My mother's sister-was married to my father's brother. She was an aggressive person,but if she loved you, she did it with a whole heart. I learned this the day that Rick was taken in for emergency surgery on his colon. She went with me to the hospital and sat with me...she never let me get down. She kept reminding me that Rick and the boys would need me to be strong. She will always be in my heart for staying with me.

The letter "B"
My mother, Betty Bursley, also known as "Burs"., Aunt Bee,. Betts. This coming Monday would have been her birthday. I talk to her everyday when I come home from work and drive by the cemetery. I always say, "Hi, mom." Not a day goes by that I do not think of her. I miss her dearly.

Boozer, the four legged demon that hogs the bed I try to sleep in. Don't get me wrong, he is one of my best friends. He cuddles right up to me when I am upset for some loving. He knows that I need his unconditional love and some distraction.

OK...until tomorrow for more letters...

One last note...RICK IS HOME! I cannot tell you how happy I am to have him back home. He has been hospitalized with a bowel obstruction. The man has 9 lives! He fell into the shaft of the elevator in our house last month and now this! He gives me more grey hairs than the kids do! I love him so dearly and it kills me to have him so sick. It kills me to let others take care of him too, especially since the malpractice when he had his spinal cord injury. I do not trust them to take care of him. He has a bed sore from being in the hospital that I need to tend to now.

Till tomorrow...

Val says, tag...I'm it.

OK Tina Zarlenga, remind me to beat you with a wet noodle for this one. I am to tell 7 unknown things about myself....



1.) I got engaged on Friday the 13th.



2.) My mother's sister married my father's brother and so did my husband's mother and her two sisters...they married threee brothers. Who would have thought another family would be as weird as mine....



3.) On my 19th birthday, my parents sent me a new pair of shoes to college. I wore them that evening to a frat party and someone drank beer from them...goodbye new shoes. Hello to walking across campus barefoot in the end of October in the Indiana winter.



4.) I hate parties. Yes, me the social butterfly hate going into a room full of people...I feel judged.



5.) I do not make friends easily. I am a steadfast friend when I become a friend, and I am a friend for life.



6.) I read the obituraries daily. I think I may be obsessed with this. Sick, huh?



7.) I wish I was a jock. I am envious of the girls who were jocks. They always had fun and looked cute even when they were sweaty, dirty. The guys loved that.



OK...I am going to e-mail this to a few friends so that they will be tagged...Marti, Denise, Tonia and VERA...you have been tagged and if you want, you can carry this on via e-mail.

Welcome back!

The internet is back up and running, although still having some technical difficulties.

Life did manage to go on around the household, so here is an update.

1.) I have now lost 137 lbs.!!!

2.) Ricky did go on his first date! Homecoming! She was beautiful, he was a gentleman. EC won their homecoming game and remain undefeated! Will make an attempt at publishing photos galore tomorrow...have to play with downloading since the net is still hairy.

3.) Dad and Vera had a commitment ceremony two weeks ago, it was so sweet to see how much they have come to care for each other and fill a void in each others lives. Vera is special, she does not leave our memories of Mom out of the picture. She and I talked on the phone last night and she told me that she remembers my mom just as she was...a mom who doted on her three girls and still managed to have an iron fist.

4.) Am taking a class in "Command Spanish for Healthcare Personnel" at Tri-C. Wish I had never signed up for this. So much more could have been done with this class, am so disappointed. We basically sit and do a lot of repetitive work. The class goal was to be able to complete a department specific history and physical at work. That won't be happening in my department. Last class we worked on labor and delivery Spanish....funny, Lutheran does not have a labor and delivery unit. We have three psych floors and not a mention of psychiatric nursing terms! Morons.

5.) Rick and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary in a quiet manner....waiting for our homecoming guy to get home, watching a movie with Nick. Some days it just feels better to lie in bed and get some rest.

6.) Valerie wrote this week about memories of Mom. This week marked the second anniversary of her death. Not a day goes by that I do not think about her, or stop by the cemetery on my way home from work to say hello and talk to her.
My memories of mom???
I remember her singing the Milan High School fight song and talking about her cheerleading days. She could also do a mean twist in the kitchen and sing "the Twist". She could shake it with the best of them.
We had the best Barbie doll clothes, complete with trim and buttons. Our Barbie chests of clothes were chock full of clothes.
I remember mom going to church with her black mantilla (sp?) on her head because ladies did not go to church without having her head covered.
I remember mom having "card parties" another name for a hen party of her old nursing school buddies...at our house. We would get to come down to say good night to the ladies and would love to get up the next morning to see what goodies were left and who was the winner of the prizes that the hostess provided for that night.
I remember every Labor Day, mom would watch the Jerry Lewis Telethon and sing "you'll never walk alone..." and she would cry. She said that was her nursing school class song. Maybe that is why the handicapped children were always the special ones to her.
I remember going to Midway Mall and having a kid who mom had taken care of at the Murray Ridge camp come up to her, she was always ready to give a hug and kiss to them.
I remember that one of mom's friends would call (a long winded friend) often to unload her problems on mom. She would not refuse to listen, but if it got too long, she would have us ring the doorbell and would tell them that someone was at the door...a skill that I have not mastered ...yet.

Most of all, I remember that my mom stood beside me in the worst times of my life and never let me get down. When Nick was admitted to UH in the immunocomromised unit for thalassemia...she went to the hospital with me and stayed with me. It was so hard to contain a sick 3year old....
When Rick had his spinal cord injury, she stayed all night at the hospital with me while he was in surgery. She prayed with me and kept me from falling apart. When he went in for his second emergency surgery, she got her sister to go with me and stay at the hospital so that she could pick up the boys from school. She wanted to break the news to the boys so that they would be more secure with "Grammy" taking care of them without me there. She often told me that she was proud of me and how courageous I was. I could not have done it without her. I had told her...in her final days, that I was proud of her and how courageous she was. I hope that she knew what I was telling her and just how much she was loved, is loved, and is missed. I love you mom.

Pictures tomorrow God willing!

Sorry I have been away for so long...

Things in this house never are quiet. In the past few weeks, we have had an open house for realtors, have started school (yipee), Ricky has gotten his driver's license (heaven help us all...), we have had a photo shoot with the realtor and Boozer, and have had our house taped for the Smythe-Cramer showcase of homes that will air next Sunday at 10:30am. The same day that they are having an open house here. Will this work ever end?

On the good side, we have a neighbor who is battling Acute lympocytic leukemia...from the look of him, the battle has not been a good one. He came home this week and I am making supper for them today, as well as cookies for their girls. I just remember Valerie making me supper after having surgery and what a lift off of my shoulders that was. I want to lessen his wife's burden and let them have some precious time with their beautiful daughters. They have not had their dad around for such a long time and need to spend some family time. (Val, in case I never told you....THANK YOU).

Dad and Cindy are also coming over for supper tonight. Am going to make lasagna, salad and peach cobbler. Vera could not make it this time.

The boys worked booths at the parish festival at St. Jude's yesterday for service hours so Rick and I headed to Milan to buy melons. Never did get to Milan because of the traffic. We stoped at Burnham's orchard and got melon (juicy and sweet...yum), some peaches which I cannot wait to bake with, and some green beans. Am I in a domestic mode or what?
Off to bake.....

I am so down in the dumps...

Hormones be damned! I cannot stand this feeling inside that everything is falling apart. I sit here crying over the show "Finish the Lyrics". Stupid. Nobody in this house understands how I feel-even the dog. (because they are all of the deviant male chromosome).

Have been having headaches at an almost daily basis which in itself is depressing. I have been trying alternate medicine therapies, but I need to have this done everyday and there is NO WAY that I can do that and still work full time (not to mention that the doctor does not work full time) . God bless her that she does this for me for free since I work for her. (At last! A job perk!)

I have had three acupuncture treatments and have seven more. They use three needles on me at the back of the top of my head and I have to leave them in for a minimum of six hours. You cannot see them in my hair. I work all day with them in my hair. IT REALLY WORKS! The needles do not hurt at all-feels like someone flicking the skin with a finger. I feel that after about 5 minutes that my face is like jelly and that my forehead is so relaxed.

It is just so depressing to have a headache EVERYDAY.

I miss cropping with my peeps. Think I may make a date with Marti for next weekend at my house. We have a open house for realtors Tuesday and I have to spend every waking minute until then cleaning.

P.S. Go see "Hairspray" definitely worth it.

summertime and the living is easy...

I just love summer. I love that my boys get short hair cuts and that they love the out of doors. I love the food of summer...last night we had one of my all time favorite meals, BLT'S and corn on the cob. Am making green beans and ham tomorrow with some onions cooked in. Have never tried it, but we are going to try doing them in the crock pot.

Went to look for peaches, and they are like BB's. Did score a great melon, and Ricky devoured the entire melon. Want to do some burgers on the grill...eat on the patio...baked beans and potato salad.

I just LOVE summer. How about you?

Start spreading the news.....

OK, this may offend some of you, but I got an e-mail from my doctor telling me that I have officially entered MENOPAUSE! I did tell her tonight that this is not the news that you break with an e-mail...you send flowers or balloons! My sons have made fun of me for weeks because I am exceptionally weepy and depressed. (Valerie, I can hear you already saying that I cry all the time!)

Sure explains alot.

I am now down 114lbs. and am proud of my accomplishment. I do have saggy areas, but feel so much better than I have in a LONG time.

Add the must see of "Hairspray" to your movie viewing. Saw the movie this weekend and it was wonderful! Did go to the Harry Potter party at Borders at Crocker Park. Ricky got wrist bands which got us into the second group to get books. (Little did I know that second group meant almost 2am...) I did not make it to the end...Nick and I left at 11:30pm and Ricky bummed a ride with his buddies. The later the time in the evening, the more freaky the people in the store...the lady with the boa around her neck grossed me out!

Spent Saturday sick in bed, and yesterday we drove up towards Put-In-Bay to buy some melons, tomatoes and green beans. YUM-O.

10 things I am thankful for...

In honor of my sister, Val, I too, am writing a 10 things I am thanful for list.
1.) My niece Paige. I love this girl so much and think she is one of the most beautiful people that I know-inside and out. I don't even think she knows it.
2.) Pedicures. I have a hard time wearing shoes with backs on them-spend most of the time in clogs, hence, the feet dry out easily. I need the "cheese-grater" file on the heels frequently so that my feet do not catch on the carpeting.
3.) My boys still kiss me good night.
4.) The smell of chocolate chip cookies baking. Something about the chocolate, butter and vanilla....YUM
5.) The art of Scrapbooking, This has given me a creative outlet and so many life long friends.
6.) The fact that my family remains close. I love that my sisters live near by and we get to be a part of each other's lives.
7.) Vera. I am so thankful that my dad has someone in his life. He is such a loving and fun person and the thought that he would be alone after my mom died about broke my heart. Vera is good for him. She makes him happy and I think he deserves every bit of happiness that he can get.
8.) Courage and honor. My husband's to be exact. He faces each day from his wheelchair and never seems to let it get him down. His father would have been proud of him.
9.) My sons playing together. Rare, but it does happen. Their ages being so different, they do not do a lot together. I love that they go out and shoot hoops together. I love to hear them laugh together.
10.) My peeps-Marti and Karen. I could not be blessed with any better friends. They know just when I need a kick in the butt or a kind word. They are the kind of friends that always remember to check in once in a while. Never a one-sided relationship. I love them as if they were my sisters.

Ancient Chinese Secret, Hmmm?

OK, I have to admit, I had accupunture yesterday for the second time. This time was different, I had three needles inserted into my head and they had to stay there for a minimum of six hours. These were not comfortable going in (the last time there was NO pain at all) but a few minutes after they were placed, I realized that my facial muscles were so loose and relaxed. No, I did not do this for additional weight loss (though, it is a good idea) ...I did it for headaches. Have been having headaches almost daily lately, and the other night it was so bad that I got sick to my stomach. The doctor inserted the needles on my lunch hour and then I had to worry if Rick would have the stomach to remove the needles. I could not see them, they were on the top of my head towards the back. He was able to do it. No headache.

Nursing

I had an experince with a patient that made me realize again why I have chosen Nursing as my career, There are times when you get a little burned out and think, "why am I doing this?"
This week we bent the schedule and added a patient on WAY early and I am so glad we did. The patient was a triple amputee who is also suffering from metastatic cancer. We ended up doing a block on him becuase he was having so much pain. I am thankful that he got some relief and that the doctor was agreeable to adding him to the schedule.
Glad I am a nurse.

I love you mom. Thanks for being a nurse.

And now the movie folks!

Not one to want to give a free advertisement, but last weekend, we went to the sneak preview of Disney's latest Pixar movie Ratatoullie. TWO THUMBS WAY UP! Took the boys and hubby and the verdict was that this was the best Disney film yet. Try to see it if you get a chance.

My disappointment..."Knocked up". Love Katherine Heigl but why did she have to stoop to do this movie? Unnecessary profanity and too graphic. Would not spend the money on it...

say cheese...

I am a camera junkie. I recenty broke my favorite camera...don't really understand what happened to it, but I had a fully charged battery and the blasted thing would not turn on. Took the old faithful to Ritz Camera and they gave me an estimate of $400 just to get a diagnosis of what is wrong. Then the costs of repairs.... Sadly, I had to retire my Nikon D70 and I bought the new Nikon D40...love it. Lightweight and I can still use my digital lens with it. Great zoom and 10 megapixels! So, I am back in business.

Not that I was camera-less...I have several cameras and I like each one of them for different reasons...

Until tomorrow....say cheese!

God bless Jessie Davis and her baby

God bless Jessie. I was devastated to hear that the body of 9-month pregnant Jessie Davis was found this afternoon. I was praying that by some miracle, she would be found alive, safe and healthy. I prayed that there would not be yet another sense-less murder.

God speed Jessie. You are in his hands now. You and your baby are loved.

Thanks for an exciting season, boys!

Thank you Cleveland Cavaliers for another great exciting season. Let's do the finals again next year!

16 years old...look out!

Ricky turned 16 this past week. I love this boy. He is so excited about the most abstract things...music, celebrity gossip, quiz shows, Harry Potter-new book, friends, instant message....
I also love the fact that he and his friends enjoy each other so much, and are the kind of kids that you can trust, and I am proud to say that.
I never hear him anymore, and needless to say, he cannot hear me either. What did the 16 year old get for his birthday? A wireless Ipod headset...Imuffs. Gotta love technology.

The hiatus is over...

Ok, Valerie and Ricky....I am back to blogging...satisfied?
Love you....

Happy Birthday Dear Austin, Happy Birthday to you!

Hard to belive that this sweet child is 17 years old. He is smart and good looking, ladies, and has a great sense of humor. Good husband material. (don't let it go to your head Austin)

Actually, this is one terriffic guy. I am proud to have him as my nephew.

Many more, buddy.

A bad, bad blogger am I...

Haven't blogged in a while...let me catch you up on the comings and goings....
Did a day at the spa...Mario's with Karen for Good Friday, and then went to a crop that Trish organized for the evening. Did not really feel too into it because of the day at the spa...just plain worn out. It started to snow that night, and did we get hit. UGH...I was born to live in Florida.
(Forgot to mention these events in the Easter blog)

Fast forward....the kiddos off school for a week and they were real troopers helping to get the house clean. Saw three movies in the past week..."Blades of Glory" ...definite juvenile humor, "Meet the Robinsons"...cute with a good message....and "Are we done yet?" (sequel to "are we there yet?") ...good, but not as good as the original.

Have not spent much time with the husband...miss having a little alone time. He does not realize how much I need just some adult time. He did not go to any of the movies...he found other things to do which also upsets me that he does not join us.

Am 63 pounds lighter and had not thrown up in two weeks, until tonight. Ricky wanted Qdoba for supper, I tried some and threw up three times. UGH. Also got the bad news from my loving hair dresser that I am losing hair. Need to pump up the protien.

Did get to talk, althogh briefly, to Val today, miss talking to her. She makes me feel better about myself. She has a natural way of doing that, I am lucky to have her as my sister.

Going to try to promise not to be an absentee blogger....

The house was featured in the Chronicle Telegram, and they did a web presentation. Finally, some work towards selling the house! First day after, and we have two interested parties coming Thursday to see the house.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! This was such a wonderful holiday. I thought that after my mother died, that we would not have happy holidays again. I did not forget about mom, especially as I put on the corsage that the boys got me. I remembered the flowers that I would get for mom. Made me feel a little closer to her. Valerie put on a wonderful meal for us all. Dad brought Vera and her son, Ed. Vera is good for dad, she makes him happy. Who would have thought that dad would ever be taking dancing lessons. Dad is so social and Vera brings out that side of him. He laughs with her and that is a good thing.

I loved seeing Trent and Nick playing together, and I loved seeing my Paige so happy.

Ed fit in well with the men, they flipped between the Masters and the Cavaliers game...I hate when they do that...makes my head hurt.

Hope all of you got to spend the day with those you love celebrating the risen Lord.

Love to you all.

Thelma and Louise hit the road....

OK, I think we decided that I was Thelma and Marti was Louise. We took off on a scrapbooking road trip to Michigan this weekend...credit cards and cash in hand. Our first stop was to Scrapbook Zone in Farmington, a nice assortment of product. They recommended their neighbor store, Lou's ConeyIsland for our lunch...heinous dogs, mind you. Threw that one right up. They recommended another store, Scrappy Chic who sent us to Scrapping and Stamping as they were closing in an hour and were relocating and had everything 60%off. Not much left there. Back to Scrappy Chic...enthusiastic staff, great selection, nice gals...they went right along with us. They even recommended a third store Scrappy Tales. A huge store, wonderful selection. Needless to say, we boosted the Michigan economy. Spent the night at Hotel Barronette. Lousy beds, flat pillows. Air condition was non-existent. Shower hot water was cold, and cold water was hot.
Found IKEA on the way home and had to make a pilgrimage. A must-see. Did lunch at the infamous Tony Packo's in Toledo. Cannot wait to post photos when I get them from Marti! It was an absolute hilarious weekend. I have not had that much fun in ages! Thank you, my friend and partner in crime...I love you.

P.S. Game on!

another day in paradise...

I am not as eloquent as my friendly bloggers...but today I am mustering enough energy to relate the day... Worked at the Westlake office today and patients came in at a steady pace and the day went smoothly. Picked Ricky up and went for a marathon shopping trip to Target. I had run so low on staples...TP, paper towels, dish detergent...you know the drill. Made a run to Michaels to get supplies to re-do the flowers for my mom's grave. Dad put out spring flowers last week and they were strewn all over the grass. I gathered them up and bought some new flowers and foam, etc. to get the flowers rearranged. It broke my heart that someone would mess them up. Last year, dad took great time and effort to mount an angel cherub next to her headstone and last week he found that someone had knocked it apart. I have a hard time with such detruction and meanness.
I want something beautiful for Easter. I love you Mom.

For anyone out there who cares...

I went shopping two days ago...(Valerie, I can hear you say there is nothing new about that)...for clothes for myself. That is something because, frankly, I have hated my body for some time. I digress...anyhow, I bought two new pairs of pants THREE SIZES SMALLER!!! Had to brag and pat myself on the back a few times....

I am one PROUD mama

Last night was opening night for the Elyria Catholic production of "South Pacific". Rick and I, Marti, Cindy, Dad, Vera and Mrs. Sprague went to see Ricky's performance...and what a performance it was! I could not have been prouder! After all of the weeks of practice, I did not know that my son sang a few lines SOLO, yet what a good voice he has! The show was three hours long, but the kids did a smash up job with scenery, costumes, choreography and their lines. There was a large audience-of which I am glad...so nice to have a full house to show off your hard labors...I got so many complements on Ricky...made my heart swell with pride. Way to go Ricky! I love you!

The kick in the pants that I needed...

Marti, once again, I want to tell you how much I love you. You sent me an e-mail today that showed me how much I love you. You read me so perfectly and knew just what to say to make me feel better. I have really been down and needed to hear from someone who has been there/done that...to get me back in line knowing that the brass ring at the end of what I am going thru is better health, and a longer life. For that, I am indebted to you...you are the bomb, baby!

Thanks for being there again, Marti...I love you.

Had a depressing weekend....but today is another day.

OK, I am so tired of being sick to my stomach. Since the surgery, I have had about four episodes of vomiting each week...and I am not talking about one bout and you are done...it is all morning, or afternoon...or evening. I don't know what the triggers are...one day it was the Actigal pills that I have to take for the next six months to prevent the formation of gall stones. Another day, it was three TEASPOONS of yogurt, and last night it was rice. I was chastising myself as to...why did I do this to my body?

Today, I sent an e-mail to the nurse practitioner that works with Dr. Schauer, Laura, and I poured out my feelings. She sent me an e-mail right back that lifted me back up. She explained that where my stomach was reattached, the opening is so small due to the inflammation from the surgery that it is hard to pass things into my stomach. She said that this can last anywhere from 4-6 weeks after surgery. She said that some people have more trouble than others with this....I must be one of them. She told me that as long as I was keeping something down every day, and making sure that I was getting my protien in, I am going to get thru this phase.

I have been really whiney lately...so bored eating bland foods. I had a treat this past week...Rick got me a baked yam from Texas Roadhouse. I was only able to eat about 1/2 of it, but it had flavor!!! Tonight, I had a piece of lasagna, which stayed down very well...Ok, it was a 1"x2" piece. BUT, I am not hungry.

I had vowed not to weigh myself every day so that I do not become obsessed about it, but I did weigh myself today and have lost another 4lbs...for a grand total of 49 lbs. to date!

I HATE lying!!! ...even by omission

OK, the easiest way to destroy a relationship is to lie. I was informed this morning that my oldest son, my first born was hiding a secret from me. He was involved in his first auto accident and has not even gotten his license. His father took him to Oberlin to the Army-Navy store to get his uniform for the play next weekend (Elyria Catholic is putting on "South Pacific" and he is playing a sailor). His father's van was blocked in, and Ricky was backing it out so that Rick could get in. He put the van into drive and hit a light post. I guess he got quite a lecture from the police officer (go policeman, go). Lucky for him, he had his learner's permit with him.

I guess what bothers me the most is that I was not told till days later when it was accidentally told to me. I was livid, but nobody else but me sees that it was a bad thing. He thinks that I am going to let him learn to drive in my new car??? He does not have insurance yet!

Am I making mountains out of mole hills???

Why does it get lost in the translation?

Today, I watched one of the finer movies of the 70's "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"...yes, starring one of my all-time favorites, the BeeGees. Ricky just did not get it. He thought that this was a movie made on drugs. Didn't get the whole fantasy thing. Did not appreciate the music. Did not appreciate all of the big name stars in the movie...George Burns, Steve Martin, Peter Frampton, Billy Preston, Alice Cooper, Earth Wind and Fire, and Aerosmith. What is the world coming to when the youth of today do not understand the abstract-ness of this genre?

"Let me take you down, 'cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields, nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about, Strawberry Fields forever."

What to do...what to do...

What is there to do on a Saturday with fresh snow on the ground??? The hubby and youngest son are going to a pizza party for CYO basketball....
I think that I may take in a movie...could stay at home and clean the house....nah....more fun to get out of here for a while.

Where else but Ohio would you have an earthquake, tornado, thunderstorm with lightning, rain, snow, 70-degree and 20-degree temperatures in less than 48 hours???

The storm prince and princess have been watching the skies tonight....

Keeping an eye to the skies...Nick and I are keeping an eye out because we have tornado warnings and they are close. Rt. 57 and I-90...Ricky called from play practice and said that they took the students to the school basement.

I have a long time fear of storms. I get it from my mom- who I found later got it from her mother. When we were young and there was a storm, my mom would take us to the basement and pull out the couch and have us sit behind it. My grandma had a clear plastic bag for storms that had the deed to her house, her will, and her bank book. She would take that with her to the basement. In later years, I would take the kids to the basement and lay out a blanket for games and we would play with flashlights.

Now, as an adult, I can NEVER sleep when there is a storm. I feel my heart beat faster.

St. Peter is playing bowling, there he goes...another strike.

I am praying that this passes quickly so that we can get some sleep tonight.

I got a new car!!!

I got rid of the Lexus and got a Mazda CX-7. We have been examining the cost of a 15 1/2 year old drive a lexus and cover the insurance....astronomical.

I love the ride. BOSE stereo. Yummy.

Felt good to go back to work today. Slow day tomorrow...good thing, I have some pain in my stomach...think I may be overdoing it. Not enough pain to call the doctor, but enough to know that I need to slow down. I made a concoction of unflavored yogurt, peaches, and vanilla protien powder. Not bad and got about all of my protien in one meal. Had some DELICIOUS potatoes and gravy from KFC...went down smooth.

A depressed day...

Today was such a depressing day. The kids were especially mouthy and I just could not take it anymore. Even with the weather SO beautiful. I went for a ride and found myself at the cemetery at my mother's grave. I haven't been to the cemetery in a while-it is hard for me to go there. I miss her so much. So much has happened in my life recently an I feel like I want and need her by my side. When I lost my job last year, I really wanted and needed her. She has always been there when I have had a crisis in my life and I think that this is the first crisis I have endured without her.
So, back to today. I went to the cemetery and cried and talked to my mom about how hard this diet is, and did I do the right thing....I did not get any answers, but I felt like that was where I needed to be. When I came home, the peace in the house was restored.
I guess mom was helping me again.
I love you mom.

Where have I been?

Haven't blogged in a few days, and want to catch you up on what is going on...
Had the drain removed, Tuesday. (Thank God) and the nurse told me that I could advance my diet. So, what does the food deprived person do? Rick and I went to the Mc Donalds in the Cleveland Clinic, ordered an egg mcmuffin, and I ate the egg, Rick ate the rest. The best egg I have ever eaten. I have since eaten a 1"x 2" piece of lasagna, two chicken strips, and an orange push-up. I tried to eat a hamburger last night and spent the night throwing up. I can only eat a 1/2 cup of food for a meal. That is the capacity of my stomach.
How am I as far as pain/activity? I have NO pain. I am going back to work on Monday (yipee). I walked 1 mile yesterday at Midway Mall with all of those blue haired folk. If you have not witnessed them in action, it really is quite impressive. Have already informed Ricky that he is at my mercy tomorrow when I go walking. I am so grateful for my sister in spirit, Yolanda. I think she is telepathic. She knows when I am getting the blues and gives me that much needed call to keep me in line and to get my spirits back on track. She has been my inspiration. Her best advice to me was to give it to God to handle. I love you Yo-Yo.

I pray that the drain comes out tomorrow...

Have had a longing for baked fish. Am a little tired of soup and liquids at this point. I want something with some texture. Can tell it is lent because most of the food commercials are fish related. Just had a Long John Silver commercial to prove it.
As for the drain, it continues to drain about 25cc today. Am afraid that they will not take it out because it is still draining. Planning on going to work Mon.,but wonder if they won't let me if I have a drain. Am getting bored, think I will scrapbook tomorrow after the doctor appt.

my food...

OK, this morning, I had a shake...1 can of chocolate slim fast, 1 scoop of vanilla protien powder, 1 tsp. vanilla extract, and ice cubes. Mix to milk shake consistency, top with dash of cinnamon. Not bad...killed the baby puke taste.
Lunch, again I had the cream of potato soup, pureed and strained. 1/2 cup. YUM-O.
I am having cream of mushroom soup for supper. Can't wait.

Am still having pain from the drain, but am getting around the house, better than I expected.

After the last supper, comes the first meal...

Had my first meal last night. Rick got me some cream of potato soup and put it in the blender and strained it, and I got to have 1/2 cup (to drink over 1 hour). It was the best food I had ever tasted. Has kinda put everything in its place not being able to eat and having slim fast/clear liquids for over two weeks.
I paid for it though, I thought I had heartburn, but it was gas pains all night. The only relief I had was sitting up straight. Much better this morning. Am going to venture and have a peach/protien powder shake for breakfast. Hard to type, my hands are still swollen (thanks Nurse Ratchet). I was disappointed in the night shift nurse that I had, Nurse Ratchet AKA Lennie. She got me up the first night after surgery at 5 am (had gotten back to my room at 8pm) and put me in a chair. My room was the refrigerator, and she put the PCA controller on top of the IV pole, so I could not give myself pain medication. I called for help 5 times and was always told that the unknown voice behind the microphone would let the nurse know. No help arrived until day shift, and by that time, I was sobbing. Why didn't I get up myself? Because it was my first time out of bed and I was one hurting puppy. At the same time that the day nurse came in, a transporter for the xray dept. came to get me for my barium swallow (gag me). She told them that I needed at least 3 hours of rest before I would be ready to go to xray. Wonderful nurse, Arlene. Anyhow, I was cursed with Nurse Ratchet the second night as well, and when I called her to let her know that my IV had infiltrated, she said, "no, the pump would alarm if it was no

in the right space". Milo, my day shift nurse took the IVout the minute I showed it to him. My fingers are like sausages, and my palms a little ball. Cannot close a fist. UGH. Will try to remember to post later on and let you know how the peach shake goes.

P.S. note to Mr. Trent Blackburn, get better soon, buddy. We hate it when you are sick.

Well, it is over, and I have lived to tell about it...

I had my roux-en-y bypass Wednesday2/28 and was discharged yesterday. I still have a drain in the stomach which will come out Tuesday. I am going to try to have some soup tonight. I am not having a lot of pain, nor am I hungry. I had a barium swallow the morning after surgery which was heinous but I lived through it. My hands are all puffed from my IV's infiltrating. I have six very small incisions across my lower abdomen. I was having a lot of abdominal pain until I started passing the blessed gas...what heaven...(never thought I would hear myself describe gas in those terms) but, honestly, I thought I had an abdominal hernia until I passed some gas and the bloated area of my stomach went down.
I must regress, the night before I had surgery, we got the new Cleveland Magazine, and Dr.Schauer, my surgeon, was listed as one of the top doctors in the state (voted on by MD's). With the versed in my IV, I asked him before I was put to sleep if he had received his copy yet, he said that he had not. I told him that I slept better the previous night, knowing he was one of the top doctors. I also asked him if he had eaten lunch, and if he got his practice cases in that morning. Nothing like a tongue loosened by versed.

Day 13-the final day...

Well, this is it. Tomorrow is my surgery. I am excited. I am scheduled to arrive 10am tomorrow for 12 noon surgery. Everyone has called with their good wishes. I cannot wait till tomorrow is over, and I start what I am considering my new life. I am turning over a new leaf to better health.
I spoke with Yolanda today, after she sent me an e-mail that made me cry. She is SO good to me. She is like my own sister. She understands me and knows when I need a kick in the butt. She has walked this road and is wiser than I am about this. She kept me encouraged when I was going to give up. I love her and am grateful that I have her for a friend and SISTER. I hope and pray that I do as well as well as she has.

Day 12-back to the doctor

Ok...this is only for two more days. I have come to HATE slim fast. Frankly, it smells like baby vomit. I have to have it on ice and chug the entire can down in one guzzle.

Back to the doctor today for a final pre-op visit, and I get to spend the evening doing the bowel prep. YUM-O. I have stomach cramps from the fleets phospho-soda. I have one more bottle to down.

OK..had to take a break for upset stomach.

I will post tomorrow...need to be available for the bathroom. Yahoo...pray for me.

Day 10

Day 10 kept me busy for the most part. I spent the day with my older son, Ricky. I was a coach for the Elyria Catholic Academic Challenge team. These kids are SMART!!! This is similar to the college level Quiz Bowl, or for those of us here in Northeast Ohio, like the Saturday night television show. The meet was in Copley, Ohio and is the largest meet in Ohio. We took 4 of 7 matches. Got home and the dog missed me so much, he has been climbing all over me.

Had some delicious WonTon soup broth for supper tonight. YUM-O. (YEAH, RIGHT) I may even splurge and have some jello for dessert. (living large here)

Day 9-a visit to the doctor

Day 9 and I had to go to the doctor for a pre-op physical. I have lost 9 pounds this week alone! That makes a 31 pound weight loss since they told me to start to cut back before surgery. I had thought that I was going to give up this morning, but that news about the 9 pounds has given me some extra UMPH to go the extra mile. Mind over matter, baby.

31 pounds!!! I cannot believe it myself.

No vitamins now until after my surgery now. I am also saying a permanent good bye to my dear friends, Ibuprofen and Aspirin.

Eight days and no food...

...makes a girl jumpy. Be proud of me folks! I had a party at my house tonight and served a Chocolate mousse dessert, a cheesecake dessert and a cookies and cream dessert and I did not even lick my fingers.....I ate some jello as a reward! I can see that I have lost weight in my face and in my pants ... yipee skippy.
Remind me never to have another party to sell something at my house. I invited 35 people and had all this food ready, eight showed up. Never again.

Good night.

Sense of humor

Ricky has the best sense of humor, and what is even better is the fact that he laughs at his own jokes. He came running into my room to let me know that Heather Mills is going to be on the next "Dancing with the Stars" and that she is going to dance to "Peggy Sue", to which I countered, "No, I hear she is going to dance to At the Hop". (get it? hop?) He starts to laugh and then says, "She has a leg up on her competition". He is laughing so hard that I think he may wet his pants...I love how he enjoys wry humor....

Ash Wednesday

Today is Ash Wednesday and being the "good Catholic" that I am, I am going to fast today...hahaha....Day 7 ....half the way there! Yippee for me!

Day 6 ...the saga continues

I have met my enemy and am ready to take him on. Not so weepy today, just food everywhere I turn. It is FAT TUESDAY and the paczki's were in the office, dad made peach cobbler, the girls were planning on Chipotle (my favorite eatery) for lunch ...yet, I MADE IT! Another day of no solid food! Eight more days until my bypass.

Was excited when the cutest drug rep this side of the Mississippi came to the office and asked me if I was losing weight. Could have kissed him on the spot.

Bored yet? Day 5 no food in sight....

I cannot believe that I have not eaten in 5 days and AM NOT HUNGRY!!! I have existed on boullion, slim fast and Crystal Light. If I have not lost weight already.... I am feeling quite "boo-hooey" today and do not understand the emotions behind all this.

Today was President's day, and the kids had the day off. I was quite suprised to see how much work was done here when I was on work. I hate having to work when they are off. I feel like I am losing my babies. I look at Ricky and he is a man already. Sadness....

I wish I could alleviate some of the worries that my sister, Valerie, is having. I love her to death and think that she gives 110% for her children and husband. I wish that she could have some peace of mind that everything is going to work out for Paige. I am so glad that she has been able to turn to Trish for support. Thanks again, Trish.

Until tomorrow....

Day 4...still no solid food...

OK....day 4 is now over, I made it through again. I am allowed 4 cans of slim fast (gross) ...it smells like baby formula, and if you have ever had a child who spit up a lot as an infant, it brings back HORRIBLE memories. I have to chug it down FAST so that there is less of a chance that I will smell it. I treated myself to WonTon soup minus the wontons...try explaining that to the Chinese person behind the counter...makes for a few laughs. I also cannot say enough about the taste treat Lemon Ice. ....Just a little piece of heaven right now. I am still not hungry right now. HONEST. 10 days till my surgery. People who talk about it with me ask me strange things like will my husband still like me after the surgery, and have we discussed this. It does worry me, how he will feel with my changes...

Day 3 of no food...

OK....have not fessed this to anyone outside the realm of close friends, but I am having a gastric bypass 2/28. I havc to follow a liquid diet for two weeks prior to surgery. I am on day three and do not have hunger pangs...honestly! I do see WAY too many food commercials for comfort. I get to drink 4 1/2 cans a day of slim fast - GAG ME...chicken or beef boullion, lemon ice, popcicles, decaf iced tea, and crystal lite. My kidneys are working double time....
I am excited but scared. The guys here at home are really being encouraging. Will keep you posted....

MSB...

If Cathy Zilske ever read my blog, she would know the deep love that I have for The Michael Stanley Band. It is the same love that she has for her Green Day. Growing up on the Northcoast of Ohio, MSB was THE band. To this day, I can sing the songs by heart. Many do not know that they did hit #1 nationally , and that Joe Walsh and Jonah Koslin were original members. Michael is now a disc jockey on 98.5FM in Cleveland, and they have a concert or two. My favorite memory was the concert that they did at the old Front Row theatre (no longer exists, was a theatre in the round). I have a photo from that concert of him-actutally we went to the concert two nights in a row. Their music is avaiable on limewire and on i-tunes.

Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round....

Who says old ladies can't rock? This is a photo from the Queen concert at the Gund Arena this past fall. I had the best laugh because I saw Queen in the Freddy Mercury days when I was in high school and this was such a thrill for me. I come to the concert, and the men are graying, balding with pot bellies. The women are dressed with too many sequins, and too much make-up. Instead of ciagarette lighters hailing the band to yet another encore, cell phones were opened to shine for the band! All in all, it was one of the best concerts. As you can see from the picture, we had 6th row seats. I could feel Brian May sweat on me. (eeewww) I came home hoarse. Would do it again in a heartbeat!

Paige Elizabeth

The beautiful girl above, is my niece, Paige. She is the most beautiful person that I know, inside and out. She gives of her self from the heart. Several years ago, Paige donated her hair to "Locks of love" a charity that makes wigs for kids with cancer. How many kids would think of doing something like that? I really admire her for that.

She is athletic-she is on junior olympics volleyball, and is a cheerleader. She is creative-I have seen her scrapbooking and she does wonders...

Paige does not know how strong of a person she is. I see in her such drive and courage. I admire her.

I am so grateful that God has given her to us.

Mother Earth

I am grateful for the friendship and inspiration that I have received from my friend, Trish Turay. She is an incredible woman. She is so loved by everyone she touches. She is my next best thing to Martha Stewart in that she has the most well put together home and has three beautiful children, and a husband who loves her deeply.

Trish is one of the most creative people that I know and reflects this in her everyday life. I bet there is cookie dough in her freezer right now and a project somewhere in her house. She may even have her Valentine's day tree up in the kitchen! She has a great sense of humor and stands fast to her friends in times of need. I hope that she knows that I want to be there for her if she ever needs a shoulder to lean on or an ear...

Trish, you are phenominal! I admire you.

A fine little slice of pie...

I am the first to say that I hate country music, but I LOVE TIM MCGRAW! He is all that and more. He is SO hot and SO totally in love with his wife.

This is a photo from his concert here in Cleveland this year. I am grateful that I have such a great husband to buy me tickets to oogle other men (like Tim and Bon Jovi). Glad to know that he is so secure.

I have to say, this concert was one that would appeal to everyone. He is so good to the kids in the audience-making sure to touch their hands or wave at them. I think that I really love his song, "Live like you were dying". It makes me a bit sad to hear the words..because some days I feel that life passes me by.

Back to the grind...

Well, sorry I have not been such a good blogger this past week. I went to Columbus over the weekend to take a class sponsored by Medtronics. Taking a class that was not for CEU's was a bummer, but I did learn a lot
Came home from the class to find that someone is interested in seeing our house (did I tell you that our house is for sale?) AND THE HOUSE IS A MESS. I have to get the basement and my bedroom cleaned before this weekend. Not to mention touching up the paint in my bedroom.
There are not enough hours in the day for all of this.
I am tired thinking about it.

Good night.

Grateful for a dream.....

I am grateful that I had the opportinuty to start up a business with these wonderful people. Scraptacular was my dream, and I am also grateful that Linda and Bob have taken the business, instead of having to close this permanently. It literally broke my heart to have to give up ownership of the business, but I am so grateful that I had the opportunity and the support to give it a go. Love you gals.

Nicholas

Gratitude...I am greatful everyday that God has blessed me with two loving sons. This is my youngest son, Nick, the consumate athelete. He loves anything that falls into the athletic realm.

Nick is a ball of energy from the minute he gets out of bed to the minute he goes to sleep. I love the fact that he is not too old to cuddle up with his old mom in bed to watch at TV show. I glory in his achievements..for example, the day that he shot a 3-pointer with seconds left on the clock to win his basketball game. The pure, un-adulterated joy. I love you, Nick.

Cavs fanatic

Ok, if Marti has to kill me for putting her picture on the Internet, might as well make it a good one...I have created a cavs fanatic. I love the fact that you now check the sports pages for the box scores the morning after a game....

Love you, girl.

"L" is for the little things you do for me....

The two people pictured to the right are my friend, Marti (in yellow) and my oldest son, Ricky. Can you believe these two? Marti is my next entry in my list for GRATITUDE . I feel loved by Marti, she is always ready to give a shoulder to lean on, a sympathetic ear, and that sage advice that only a best friend can give. Marti is always ready for a "peep" road trip and a good laugh. (she IS going to kill me for putting this picture on the Internet)

I met Marti through scrapbooking, and took an immediate liking to her. Like me, she too is a nurse, so that gave us something else in common. We work at different hospitals, which is good for us. We can complain about our work and understand the frame of reference, but we do not know the persons involved and can be a bit objective. I love to share time for a pedicure with her because it gives us time alone together to talk.

Marti is intelligent, she reads voraciously-belongs to a book club ( I am jealous of that). She is totally devoted to her son, Brandon. She wears her heart on her sleeve as I also do.

This year, when I lost my job, Marti called me daily to keep my spirits up. I am looking forward to another trip with her. When the store that we were buying knock-off designer handbags in NY city got raided, who else would I have wanted to stand on the curb with holding a garbage bag of purses!! How about a trip to see "Wicked" in Chicago???

Marti, Mart the tart, Martha Rose.....I love you girlfriend!!! XOXO Pam

Ali Edwards challenge 2007

Ok, I totally LOVE this woman! If you have never had the chance to meet her, her name is Ali Edwards. She is the most creative person I have ever had the privilege to meet. (see the hyperlink to her website)

This year, Ali has issued a challenge to pick a word to focus on for the new year and work towards incorporating this word into your life.

This year I have chosen the word gratitude.

I think that I do not let people know how grateful I am to have them in my life and to have been touched by them. This includes my husband, sons, sisters, father, co-workers, and my "peeps".

I started tonight after coming home and called an old friend, Karen. Unfortunately, she was not home, but I left a message for her to call me. My dad had a procedure today and I could not be there. Dad told me that she took care of him. It comforted me to know that she was looking out for him.

Ali, I hope you check out this blog site to let me give you a "thank you" for the friendship that we have had the past two years and the inspiration that you have given me for the past several years thru your art and insight into life, love, and living life to the fullest.

Happy and healthy 2007 to you all....

(I also resolve to be a better blogger this year....)